The begining of P90x

I am tired. I just finished my first p90x workout, and it kicked my ass(But Bryan, on Thursday night you were preaching about starting it on Friday morning. Yes but Bryan has a job and other responsibilities, so he had to start it today) If a couple years from now it comes out that the inventor of p90x is actually Satan I would not be surprised. I have not gotten this worked over in a workout in years. That first DVD really socked it to me(just decided that I am bringing sock it to me back). For those who have not tried it, it goes a little something like,stretch,push ups,pull ups,push ups,pull ups,water,push ups,pull ups,a couple of weight exercise, and then in phase two, they flip the whole thing on its ear and have you do pull ups and then push ups, and so on and so forth. It is truly awful, and as much as I was miserable while doing it, and as much as I wanted to break down, cry and drown my sorrows in a kfc double down, I kept going and made it through the first disc. I know some of you at home are thinking "Wow, you made it through a 55 minute workout dvd made by some John Basedow wannabe." But it is much harder then you would assume, and for the shape I am in right now I am shocked that this isn't being written from a room at the Cleveland Clinic, while I am being "closely monitored" until morning. After the first disc, I had to do the abs disc. This was, I think, more awful then the most awful thing I've ever done. It was 20 minutes of ridiculous ab workouts. Yes, that is really all I can say about the ab workout, it was bad news bears.
The workouts did really make me realize how truly out of shape I am and what an uphill battle I have on my hands. I am ok with that though, I know it's going to be a fight and I am ready to take it head on. Monday starts the "two-a-days" where I'll be p90x'in it up and either running,swimming,or biking. I think once I start doing all of those things I will really be headed in the right direction. It may seem like a big workload(or overload) but I am gonna give it a whirl and see what happens, if I realize it's too much out of the gate then I'll dial back the p90x and focus on the three disciplines that I need to complete the tri.
They always say the hardest part about doing something is starting it(I think people say that, its true). Today I think I finally took a step in the right direction. I just need to keep it going come Monday when the real fun starts.

8 hours

8 hours. That's the time that's left before I do a complete 180. No more will being tired or not having time or any other of my b.s. excuses be acceptable. I have no choice but to do this. To start, and ultimately finish. To be honest, I don't have much of a choice. This is really the start of something a lot bigger. Training for and eventually finishing this is more of a beginning then an end result. This is something that I really do need, and by this I mean the whole process; the first thoughts of a triathlon over thanksgiving weekend, the idea of tracking my progress via this well written and witty blog, me basically crapping out on myself the past month or so, the sleepless nights filled with anxiety and thoughts of failure, to this; almost a second chance of sorts.
A good conversation with an old friend today really made me put things into perspective and make me realize how true the above statement is. It feels funny to me saying that this process is so much more then it is. But in all honesty for me to start figuring out my life and where I am headed in it I need to finish something difficult. I need to, for the first time in roughly 10 years give something 100% for an extended period of time. I need to remember what doing that feels like, and how great it is when you accomplish something knowing the hell you went through to get it done. I think in the beginning I really underplayed how difficult I thought the whole process was gonna be. I am now beginning to realize what kind of shit I am really getting myself into, and to 100% honest with you, I couldn't be more excited.
I feel like since I started writing on this again that it has become kind of a pity party and mostly self-deprecating. This is really the first time that I have been totally and completely honest about how I feel about what's going on in my life and how I am going(trying) to take the steps that I feel will correct the problems that I see. I am trying to describe to you(and at times myself) where I am coming from and where I am going(which at this stage I have no clue) with my life.
Hopefully in the next 126 days I change both physically and mentally, hopefully on August 29th I cross the finish line in Chicago, and then really begin living my life the way I will have attacked this challenge: With confidence, purpose, and a never say die attitude. That may have been one of the cheesiest sentences that I have ever written, but I am sorry, it's true.

Nothing Special

Nothing too long or involved tonight, just tying up some lose ends. P90x came today. Not gonna lie, I have never been more scared of a workout program in my life. Not sure how my body is going to react to the hell that I have read about, but I can guess that it's going to include tears, vomit, and possibly feces. Tomorrow will be the first day doing it, and after I clean up the tears,vomit and feces, I will try to muster the energy to tell you guys about it.
In other news, I didn't get the job that I had 3 interviews for last week. Pretty standard. Not too upset about it, it's probably for the best anyway. That's really all I've got today, like I said, tomorrow will be the start of some hellish workouts, and that should lead to a more involved entry.

This,that,and everything in between.

Wow. It's been almost 2 months already? So much for "I'll be updating this everyday". To my defense, I have been busy? Not really. I would really say the opposite of that. Shortly after my first entry, I pretty much just stopped working out. Why? Because I am lazy. At this stage of the year, I will be completely shocked that come August 29 I'll be any sort of physical or mental condition to compete in a triathlon. For whatever reason, I just cannot get motivated to take this seriously(much like many aspects of my life over the years, but we'll get to that in a moment). And on top of that, I can't get motivated to write this blog. I enjoy writing the blog, and I enjoy working out(once I am up and out of the house, not at 430am when the alarm goes off). So I guess some may say I have a bit of a motivation problem. I am trying to work through it, and this is the first step. I feel if I can plow through this then hopefully I can have some sort of renewed spirit toward this whole disaster that I blindly dove into.
In the meantime, let's play a little bit of catch up from the last 2 or so months. I may be all over the place from here on out so bear with me(or is it bare?) Where to start? Hmmm. Let's see, on March 8Th I turned 27. Yes, 27 years old. Unreal. If at the age of 17 someone would have told me that in 10 years my life would resemble that of mine today(with exception to Kelly), I would have told them to throw me in a wood chipper. For example, today a girl at work was describing somebody that she had thought was a pedophile, her description is as follows: Bald(check), overweight(check),glasses(check), and an overall shitty/negative disposition(check). So to recap, you know what, never mind. It's pretty self explanatory. Like I said, wood chipper.
Next up was a few weeks of bs at work. And then it was on to Vegas. I can sum the trip up in 3 words: ASS GOT Rocked. The casinos were not gentle. But hey, it was a vacation, it was fun, and I had a week off of work, so I really can't complain. Since Vegas, it has been nothing but a boatload of bullshit. Mostly work related. At some point between Vegas and last week, Kelly and I had a conversation and decided that I needed to make a drastic all or nothing kind of change in my life. I still have no idea what that change should be(Yes, the change could be getting my rather bulbous ass in gear and start/re-start training for the triathlon, but I don't think something like that is on par with just packing my shit and moving cross country all willy-nilly with no plans or purpose). So in the meantime I will be keeping my eyes open for some sort of sign that a chance is needing to be taken. What can I say? I get in ruts, every 9 months or so, I begin to hate my job, and like 99% of the people in it. My mood changes, I change the way I act towards people(both friends and strangers alike) and I am generally pretty unhappy until I move on to the next shitty job that pays me $.50 more an hour, and I trick myself into thinking that this is going to be it, and it never is. I've been doing it since I was 19, and unfortunately, I don't know how to stop it. It scares the shit out of me. It's no way to live a life, and if I am not careful I am going to wake up one day in a studio apartment, alone with nothing but empty bottles of coke, ramen noodles and my pampered chef microwaveable pot. So I guess what I am saying is a change is going to have to come soon, because as stated above, I am not getting any younger, and the last time I checked(which is multiple times a day) I am by far the at the bottom of the success totem pole of both my friends, and people that I graduated high school with.
So, what do I do until greatness strikes me? Not sure, but I think the first step is going to be to get my rear in gear(poetry)and start training and eating correctly for this triathlon. As far as I can remember, I have never really accomplished anything(high school doesn't count). Pretty much everything I do, I do half assed and end up either not being good at it or quitting because I am too lazy, or not patient enough to see it through to the end. This is something I have to see through to the end. I have to show myself that it is possible that I can finish something and not just quite when it's convenient for me.
From here on out(or at least 3 times a week) I will keep you guys updated on what's going on with everything. Training,my mental state of mind, how badly I hate my current job(or how much I love my new one(when the time comes)). Hopefully this blog and the triathlon are two things that I can finish, because I need to start somewhere.